My daily battles of going to work to provide for my family are endless…. Of course I’m going to get myself ready and prepare myself for the day ahead and do it, but its hard sometimes. I miss things being a working mom. I miss a lot of things. And inside that hurts. My husband and I are so lucky though we have a family that right now is able to help. Grandparents have stepped in and its amazing. Thank you so much, you people have lifted a burden from my heart in ways you will never know…… I love you guys!
So even though miss McKinley is in great hands daily its hard to leave that beautiful face behind sometimes. It tears apart my thought process and makes a mess of my inner self. Being a working parent is tough, but we do this for our kids. We strive to do better daily for those little beings. We want to raise them into the Kings and Queens of this world that we know they can be. We as parents want to instill a great life for those little people that we brought into the world. So we conquer the day and succeed at life for them and for ourselves…. We kick ass and repeat.
I love that smile though! She just started to really try to talk more, she is non verbal so this is a HUGE deal! She will take one of her gazillion button pushing noise toys and run around with it until it drops and turns off….. then I hear the noise of feet running my way…YES RUNNING, the girl who we were told wouldn’t walk RUNNING.. anyways so she runs my way and says Mom, Mom, Mom and hands me this toy and I cry…. I totally break down and cry and bend down and just hug her and turn on her toy and right then and there I stand in awe ….. my daughter said mom and she meant it.
So I think of whats next with this verbal part of her life… the adventure has just begun and I’m ready for this so bring it on McKinley… your mom is ready to venture on with you, your Dad is too… We love you so much!
…It’s really crazy isn’t it how our kids become our life… I really never wanted kids and now here I am and without them I would just die inside, I would go insane. Even more insane than the days where my house was just cleaned and then they destroyed it with toys and children messes galore. I would just melt away I feel… having a child like we do is different too… we wont be that family that gets to watch the kids flee the nest… we will always have her here and hopefully she will have a great understanding of how to accomplish things on her own but if she doesn’t we will be there trying our best.
We wont get to go on those fancy vacations that older couples do once the kids are gone because we will always have a child in our home. Yes we could leave her with someone but once she is older that will get harder. You know I used to think it was sooo hard in the beginning with my friends when they would want to hang out at a park or someones house and play…. now I realize that is easier!!! So please send the invites my way guys!!! I hope I can make it!!! But once she is older it will be harder and there will be more judgement upon her from those who do not understand the beauty in the world, and to those people who judge without a care, PITY ON YOU.
Being a strong mom I will stand my ground for my child who cannot and I will provide so much more than a roof over her head. This little person whom I love is responsible for the way i feel in life. And for her I will protect that smile and everything she is, she is perfect even if on paper at a Doctors office it shows a mess, to me and to our family she is perfect. I hope this world can see that for you McKinley, be strong always…..
I find myself thinking daily of so many avenues in this life of ours in our home…. this weekend we are going on a family bike ride or possibly hiking Mount Bailey, yes we take her and she loves it….. she loves the outdoors, she is my little wild child and in those moments I feel like YES she takes after me! Score lol well I guess both of us we love outdoor life…. Being a mom even a hard working mom with troubles of my own I wouldn’t trade it for anything….. Thank you to all the working struggling down to earth parents, keep on doing what you do!!!! Your children will thank you even if they cant say it!!!!