Being in a world where everything is judged even when it shouldn’t be is hard for all of us. We struggle to survive with being happy when we are not, doing things we are uncomfortable with, and being in an environment that we may feel is unsafe. That whole put on your fake smile and go on with the day vibe is crushing for some. There are so many of us that put ourselves out into the world and well we aren’t ourselves we are what we think society wants us to be. When I had McKinley I changed …
Yes I still get up put on my clothes that I think look good and I do my makeup how I like but it’s for me not for anyone else. I do of course try to make my husband happy but I stopped giving a shit about the rest of the judgmental pricks in this world. Sorry if I sound offensive at all. I started to live and feel in a way I wish I would have a long time ago once she was born.
I really try to focus on being positive throughout the day but of course I think negative thoughts sometimes I’m a normal person who thinks. I wouldn’t go out of my way to be negative to others in an uncalled for situation. I have always had a big heart for anyone no matter how they are in life. I love animals and If I had the funds I would have a big farm for all those people and animals who needed a loving home. Before I had my sweet daughter I cared and now I care even more.
When I was a child I made mistakes yes. I have learned some great lessons from my childhood and it has helped me in ways that I’m thankful for today. And no shit Sherlock I still make mistakes, I’m an average person after all. I have Jesus in my heart and I say bad words I have no claim to perfection on any level. I just try everyday to do the right thing and it makes me feel good.
I love my family and they are a tremendous support team. There are so many times that I think where would I be without them? McKinley is lucky to have that. Not everyone has family support in times when they should. So thank you to my family I love you all more than you may ever know.
You know that saying the struggle is real lol. Yes! The struggle is real! It’s real with anyone it doesn’t matter if you are richer than Beyonce, you struggle in one way or another. We all do and when you have a child who has complex medical issues its hard. Some days are harder than others and some days are easier and you sit there and go WOW that was a good day. But you also sit there and think dang I wish I could go do that with my friends but hmmm… that wont work with my child. Or you get up extra early to get to the grocery store because you don’t want everyone to stare afraid you may show someone the bird today …
We all struggle and for those parents that have a child who needs them more than they ever imagined please give yourself a high five. And no I’m not just talking about the parents of kids with disabilities. ALL PARENTS! Go look in the mirror and smile and say good job. You can’t sit there and beat yourself up inside and wonder “Why me?” It’s not about you anymore….
There are a lot of resources out there that can help you, I have utilized a few but I still have lots more to look into myself. If you are lucky to have financial assistance you are off to a good start there. My daughter with her medical issues should automatically be granted SSI disbursements however we “make too much” haha!!!!! I’m dying inside thinking about how they rationalize that my husband and I make too much. We just get by!!
… Bottom line is you will go so many places in life as a parent with a child who is different. You will go places in your head too and you will go far in life. So will your precious child and you got this…. hang in there.